I’ve had it. I’m still caught up in the grip of it. We’ve all had it at some point.
Natural hair envy is a real thing.
Readers of A Musing Miss B over on Tumblr know all about my Love/hate relationship with my natural hair.
There are days when I am totally in Love with how soft my coils are, how my curls pop with just a little leave-on moisture. And then there are those days where I take off my headscarf and want to cry; my hair all crispy and not doing what I want and need it to do.
Does the beatification of some/most natural haired Celebrities, Bloggers and Vloggers make it any easier for the rest of the natural haired community?
I ask this in light of the recent Solange situation; how that poor girl must have felt being lambasted for wearing natural haired wigs and God forbid, neglecting to comb her own hair!! My hair often looks ‘unkempt‘ and ‘dry as heck‘, but I’ve never ever had anyone be so brutally upfront in their opinion on it.
Solange went as far as to defend her choices by saying that in all honesty, she wasn’t really all that bothered by her natural hair, and I agree.
It’s her hair, on her head and whatever and however she chooses to do to it, style (or not) is her business.
I was asked on Twitter today if I preferred really defined curls or a huge ‘fro, and I had to admit that I’m a fan of both.
I love it when my own curl pattern is defined, but this only occurs whilst I’m deep conditioning, the minute that gets washed off and my hair dried, moisturised and sealed, it pretty much reverts to being a crispy almost matted mess.
My natural hair envy lies in my adoration of huge afros.
I looked on in awe as Aevin Dugas hit the headlines with the world’s largest afro. What a glorious head of hair Aevin has…it will take me until way past my pension age to achieve even half of her length, but I wouldn’t necessarily class this as envy though; more admiration and wonder.
Natural hair comes in so many different lengths, shapes and styles, with a range of curl patterns, kinks and coils, so who are we to judge and covet another’s crowning glory?
Within the natural hair community what we need is more understanding and appreciation of what it takes to handle and maintain natural hair. Like Solange intimated in comments responding to her critics, twist-outs ain’t for everybody, and “just because you’re natural doesn’t mean you’ll be able to wash, shake and go. It’s a lot of work.”
Right now I’m wearing my hair in long, thin twists, purely because I was getting bored of weekly co-washes, washes, DCs and pre-poos, endlessly looking up concoctions to stimulate hair growth and the relentless path to becoming a product junkie.
Do I regret chopping my hair off 18 months ago? Not really, but sometimes I do wish I had a head full of long, kinky tresses to twist and cane row and coil into Bantu Knots, but I remember that my arms ache when plaiting hair and that 9 times out of 10 I just don’t have the patience!
I say forget the envy and embrace the pride.
Look for the beauty and the difference in our natural hair. It’s not something to be scrutinised, ridiculed and held up for condemnation.
Natural hair is a joy to behold and something to be proud of indeed, and it couldn’t hurt to have a little bit more of that.